This shit gets me torqued

Must watch compilation of the best plays of 2013.  There's not much better than full extension one-handed catches or someone returning a field goal to win the game.  Sit back and get pumped. (link below)

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2beqa8/:1t-2fcnop:KEiEo+.u/bleacherreport.com/articles/1895665-take-a-few-minutes-to-enjoy-this-video-of-the-greatest-sports-plays-of-2013/

-Tiggs

I have figured it out.

So after being home for about a week now. I have been bored to sleep by average cable television almost every night. After all of these years I have always wondered what TBS stands for and now I have figured it out. The Black Station. Unless its October and baseball is on, all this channel plays is Tyler Perry's half ass sitcoms and other sad poor people shit. Fucking Madea running around with her stomach jiggling all over the screen and shit, nobody wants to watch that garbage. Unless you have Robin Williams under that fat suit and dress, I'm not watching it. In addition they play Conan EVERY night at 11. If there was one person we could trade to the black race, I'd hope that Conan would atleast be on the shortlist.

-EL Jefe

Praying for a Snow Day

So after smashing it this weekend with the boys I had an exam this morning that I prolly fucked up but as I usually say... YOLO. I have another class I have to just go to tonight and then 2 exams tomorrow. Brutal end to a long ass semester, but then I was thinking. Apparently more snow is coming and what if we have a snow day? It's the last day of exams and no way in fuck am I showing up for a redo. If there's a snow  day I'm going all Josh Peck (in the movie snow day) and just fucking shit up

If you don't remember this movie you had a sad childhood. 

P. S. The movie is funny because Josh Peck is still really fat and in his prime 

-JP

Remember Beans From "Even Stevens"?

Well apparently he still acts, and looks exactly like you'd expect.  A coked out midget that probably still loves bacon.  I was watching Weeds -- great show if you haven't seen it -- and they move to a trailer park.  Some meth-head starts banging on their camper with a baseball bat, they open the door and it's fucking Beans.  Only he's balding and still 4 ft tall.  It surprised the shit out of me.  Remember how much of an annoying twat he was on Even Stevens?

P.S. I was looking up pictures of Beans on google and searched "even stevens beans", but a better picture somehow showed up which was 30 times better than Beans. So here ya go... #JLaw

Tiggs

Couldn't have been a better start to break

First night home from school, I get in the door and immediately leave to go to the bar with my dad, jefe, and his dad. We order some food, drink some brews, just have a great relaxing time. Viddle shows up and immediately gets hit on by the bartender who is serving him Stella Artois (pronounced are-toe-iss for Viddle) in a wine glass.. Couldn't have been more perfect for the doughboy himself. Last night we got a good amount of snow, went to Jefe's house and got tanked and took the toys out for a few spins. Viddle was hittin hard on the angry orchard and fireball mix, and may have jizzed a little on the back of the snowmobile. You've never seen someone happy until you get Viddle on the back of a snowmobile going 60 mph while it's still snowing. I heard the phrase "I've never felt so alive except when a girl is suckin on my winkie" at least 10 times in one ride. Then we play one of the best games ever created and we saw Viddle's true artistic abilities. Not going into detail cause we'll be here all day, but I haven't laughed that hard since 'nam. Great weekend with great people, hoping it keeps up for the rest of break. Love the boys.

P.s. You softer than nylin, oops I meant nylon, faggot

Tiggs

Winter in New England

If you don't like the weather in New England you can sit on cactai. For those that don't know that means multiple cactus. Having one weather seasons all the time? So overrated. Yea thats fun sitting out in the sun baking all the time like a dirty sieve being so monotonous and soft and doughy. Try shoveling your driveway out once in a while you fink. Its good for you. Also when else will you get a better excuse to bum it with the boys and kill a 12 pack of angry's than when theres a winter blizzard? Making snowmen and shit, building igloos, going sledding, it all brings you back to the good ole days when you were a kid and even a 3 foot hill seemed like a mountain. Even though I'm not a Pats fan, we wouldn't have had the epic "Tuck Rule Game" without the snow. Game of Thrones wouldn't have the epic "Winter is Coming" without the season either. So if you move out of New England purely for weather related reasons you might as well take over as sponsor for the Pillsbury Dough Boy, because your soft as shit.

P.S. without winter Bane wouldn't have been able to kill it in this jacket.

WITH NO SURVIVORS

-Viddle

Jacoby's "Thank you"

Red Sox Nation,

Two World Championships and seven years of great memories.

To the fans of New England, teammates and the many friendships made.

Thank you!

-Jacoby

Jacoby Ellsbury the Navaho fuck that just signed a 153 million dollar deal with the Yankees decides to take out an entire page of the Boston Globe with that little thank you and a picture of him holding the World Series trophy. Personally I think he should take this page crumple it up and shove it up his ass. He doesn't give a fuck about Boston he just wants to get paid. Have fun yanks he's great when he's out there but that's only like 60% of the time. Fucking nerd

-JP 

Expansion off of JP's final schedule

I've always wondered that myself - why CCSU's exam schedule is so stupid and different from the rest of the CT schools.  UConn is a normal week, but their reading day is bullshit.  Exams start on Monday, and the reading day (day off to study) is on Thursday.  It may sound logical, to split up the week and give you a small break from exams, but like 85% of campus is done with exams after Wednesday.  Some people have Friday exams, like myself, and Saturday is for like the 3 random math classes and make-up exams if you had a valid excuse to miss one.  That being said, why the fuck would anyone want Thursday off to study? Everyone is going home by then.  Make it Monday to give us a three day weekend and so we can actually get our shit together after you just crammed 15 chapters into the final lecture and expect us to know it in 2 days.  At least make it Wednesday to actually split the week for people, schedule exams for Thursday, and make Saturday exams only for make-up exams. No one wants to sit by themselves Thursday and Friday night because they can't leave until Saturday and all their friends are already home getting fucking sloshed.

-Tiggs

CCSU Finals Schedule

This is the second time that Central has done this and it's fucking retarded honestly. They start our exams on a fucking Wednesday. Then Thursday Friday, then we have the weekend and then Monday Tuesday. Who is the mentally challenged douche who let this fly. Just start on a fucking Monday and end on a Friday like everyone else. Fucking asshole. This exam schedule is like if you had a child and it was the equivalent to Helen Keller problems, but also a ginger, it's like that. No body would want it. You get what I'm saying? 

-JP

Groupon is Dirty

So I go on Groupon pretty often. Usually there's some decent deals like half off of golf for 18 with carts.  Some people get lucky and find a JAWBONE JamBox or something for cheap.  The one thing I've bought from there was a refurbished TV for cheap for school, and it just broke the other day, so that might put you off.  But anyways, I am amazed at the amount of vibrators that are being posted.  I thought it was a family friendly sight, but I guess not. Sometimes they try to cover it up by saying "Personal Massager" and other times they just put Vibrator.  But either way it's pretty obvious when there's a picture of a dildo with batteries.  It just always throws me off when a pussy tickler is put in the middle of a bunch of normal household items. Just thought I'd share cause it's fucking weird.

-Tiggs

RIP Gronk's ACL

If you were watching the pats game which was bat shit crazy you must have seen gronk die a little. "Ward" or whatever that doughboys name is went low as fuck on gronk and destroyed his leg it was fucked up. I'm hunting you down bitch you're in some big big trouble

And that's the pic of his leg getting raped by anotha ignorant nig

P. S. Great fucking win, full chub the whole time

-JP

Here's a little Dom Mazzetti to distract you from studying

If you don't think he's funny, then you probably think he's being serious, and you probably think Reno 911 is real...

-Tiggs

And so it begins..

It never fails.  Here's finals week and I can't concentrate for shit.  I have 2 lab reports, a 4 page paper and a 6 page paper, 3 exams and an online exam and my brian decides to quit. Plus I'm stuck here until Friday. I just want to be home drinking with the boys and finishing my table. The last two weeks of the semester are the 2 most productive weeks of your life.....of doing random non-school-related shit that you've put off for months cause you'll do anything to avoid finals.  All of this for one single piece of paper that dictates your life.  

p.s JP and Jefe got me addicted to making memes

-Tiggs

Finally..

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/12/08/atf-used-mentally-disabled-as-bait-other-rogue-tactics-in-stings-across-the-nation/

READ THAT, READ THE WHOLE DAMN THING...


I'll tell you what, I am ok with it, they are contributing to society in the path that they have found. They are helping us make the world and our country a safer place. Pretty big step from making the cookies in the cafe at school, but hey, heres to a quick walk up the corporate ladder...

-El Jefe

If it isn't broke, don't fix it...

Got an email from the president of UNH yesterday Mr. Mark Huddleston. He wanted to announce that after the BC eagles came in and took away all of our pride and respect, that he had spent $100,000 on a new University Logo. Here it is....

Yes, we let some of the younger kids in the daycare program handle design, and Mr Huddleston pocketed the $100K. Like seriously? What in the fist fuck was going through anyone's head? That is absolute dog shit and I wouldn't pay $100K for that design if Shawn Thornton was beating the shit out of me and smashing my head against the ice..

Here is our current logo of a very classy and well known building on campus. Actually the first building on the UNH campus, ever.

I think the real question here is how do I start working where I can get $100K every time I go on Microsoft Paint and doodle my balls off. In reality these are the real criminals here, go on paint for five minutes, ruin a University's reputation and bam, NEW LOGO.

Fuckin' Communists

-El Jefe

Re-Draft?

Lately the MLB has turned into a gold-digging franchise for the players.  First Ellsbury ditches his World Series winning team for a 7-year $153 million contract with the Yankees, and now Cano takes a 10-year $240 million deal with the Mariners.  Really? The fucking Mariners? You're gonna leave the biggest dynasty in baseball to play for the Mariners?  No one is going to want to pay him more than $20 million a year after 5 years when he washes up.  Don't get me wrong, Cano is a great player. But he is not far from Manny Ramirez in the cockiness category.  He'll sit back on his heals and not move his feet for a grounder, then fade away and throw a submarine lollipop to barely get the guy out. It's disappointing to see him leave because of his talent, but I'm not a big fan of him as a person.  Here's what should happen.. Each team can keep their captain and coaches, but everyone else has to go.  Completely redraft the entire MLB and start fresh, then see how good players actually are and how much they care about their job and their team.  Make them actually work for the absurd amounts of money they make.  And lower the salaries so I'm not paying $300 for a Yankees ticket and $20 for a beer.

P.S. Can the Mariners even afford to pay a 2nd basement that much money? How hard is it to play 2nd base in the MLB for a mediocre team and get a few hits here and there?

-Tiggs

Greedy Greedy Greedy

Kim Kardashian Keeps 90 Percent Of Proceeds From Philippines Charity Auction

DECEMBER 4, 2013 12:00 PM COMMENTS OFFVIEWS: 16372

Overheads, people. Overheads

Kim Kardashian, the centre of all evil in the universe, has managed to annoy even her most ardent followers with a new money and fame generation scheme in which she uses a charitable cause to help bulk up her pre-tax profits. Not just any charity either, but one for survivors of a tsunami.

It all started last friday when the reality TV star set up an eBay auction to aid victims of the Philippines disaster, but then realised that they probably don’t need all of the money (come on, how much do fresh water and paracetamol cost anyway?) and so decided to keep around 90 percent of the revenue, supposedly for overheads. Weirdly, while her fans don’t seem to mind most of the awful shit she does, they’ve had to draw the line at this particular caper. Take a look at her blog to see what we mean…

Kimye is at it again. Greedy bitch keeps 90% of profits donated to the Philippines after they just suffered from a fucking tsunami.  Like she wasn't fortunate enough getting famous off  her family, she has to go steal from the less fortunate as they try to rebuild their whole fucking island.  90% ?! I could see maybe 10% to cover expenses, but she should have done it for free. She's fucking loaded and married to another rich, ignorant asshole.  How bout donating 10 million dollars of her own instead of setting up an auction and stealing the proceeds. I don't like to use the C word but she's a cunt.  There's people literally living in the sand of their dead relatives and she steals 90% so her husband can beat up more paparazzi and pay the fines.  Charity is charity, not a chance to make personal profit. Ignorant bitch.

-Tiggs

The Ellsbury Dougboy

Well, here we go again, NY doing as NY does...We win a world series so what do they do, they go after one of the team leaders and offer him the biggest contract they can even think of. Typical NY bullshit, lets just buy what we need, jesus they sound like the democrats...just throw money at the problem til it fixes itself. Newsflash NY- YOU CANT BUY CHAMPIONSHIP TEAMS. The Red Sox team this year wasn't built on money or talent or even a 153 million dollar center fielder, It was built on heart, loyalty, and the true love of the game. This move by Jacoby cut me personally pretty deep. Dont get me wrong I could care less about the stupid fucking native american twat, but the thing that hurt me the most is that there is truly no more loyalty in sports. Everyone is about making there own money and I thought that this years Sox were different than that, but I guess not...Fuck you Jacoby, I'd rather have Kevin Millar playing center field next year instead of you, you totem pole twat.

-El Jefe

P.S. Is Kevin Youkilis even alive anymore, I hope Ellsbury gets buried in NY just like Youk.

P.P.S. There is no city on the face of the Earth that I despise more than NY, it's a horrible, dirty place.

So for a while I've been at the point where I can grow a fairly aggressive beard, but my mustache doesn't connect so I usually just end up shaving it cause it makes me look like a douche.  And I'm too lazy to shave and its a pain in the ass so I usually have a beard anyways.  Under my jaw always gets cut up and my face breaks out the day after, then you gotta keep up with it and its not worth it.  Plus disposable blades blow and Gillette blades are about a million dollars now so fuck it.  I'm just waiting for the day that I can have a full connection to my beard.

-Tiggs

Thanksgiving Break

After a short Thanksgiving break I'm back to the blog life. So much shit was happening there was little time to blog. First night home go to the bar with the boys and I get kicked out cause some bitch bar tending was on a power trip and cut me off after 2 drinks. The review of that bar may be coming soon because it FUCKING SUCK. Then thanksgiving itself was epic per usual, I ate until I was in a coma and almost shit my pants. Friday had a little practice for the big turkey bowl Saturday and I was voted MVP (by myself). Saturday rolled around and the most of the crew was there (except Viddle cause he's softer than the pills bury dough boy melting a stick of butter) and it was legendary. My team beat Jefe, the Benchkeeper and tiggs by 1 point. If they won tiggs was MVP hands down kid fucked shit up, but alas they lost so again I won the title of MVP and my hall of game career continues. All around just a great weekend with the boys can wait for winter break too drink out faces off once again. 

-JP

I would like to add to this... Fucking epic weekend and such a tease as we come to the two hardest weeks of the semester. I have a butt fuck of work due, a final this Thursday, and to top it off my last one is on a Friday so I can't leave until then. The Booze Bowl was awesome. I must say I put my team on my back doe, and nothing is more fun than shutting down Janco on offense and defense. JP's team played great, but it all came down to the final play.... The Benchkeeper may be a D1 athlete, but throwing into triple coverage on 4th down is JV at best. He must have had money against us... But any way, solid break and I'll probably be blogging more than ever now that I have a ton of work and studying to do. 

-Tiggs 

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

SO FUCKING HYPE RIGHT NOW!!!! SHABAZZ IS FILLTHY!!! What a great game.  Lot's of turnovers for both teams and some bullshit foul calls, but an intense game throughout.  UConn was down by 1 with 17.7 seconds left.  Shabazz ran in to trouble but got a shot off and missed, but DeAndre Daniels had a perfectly tipped rebound back out to Shabazz to hit the foul line jumper at the buzzer to beat the Gators.  Torque City. Gampel erupted and Shabazz immediately ran off the court followed by his team and then came back to make kicking motions at Florida to get out of our house. One of the best games I've been to in a while.  #UConnBasketball #Shabazz #Giffey cause he is easily the fan favorite every game.  Best quality video that's up so far. Let's. Fucking. Go.

-Tiggs

Paul Walker Update

TMZ's Mike Walters Gives Details on Paul Walker's Car Crash | Ryan Seacrest - Ryan's Recap - On-Air With Ryan Seacrest

El Jefe couldn't have said it any better.  Such a tragic and unexpected loss.  Fast and Furious is definitely one of the greatest movie series of our generation, and Paul Walker will be greatly missed.  If you didn't click on the link, it pretty much says that the investigation is still under way, but speed (most likely from racing) and car malfunction were predicted to be the factors in the crash.  Walker was the passenger to his friend and professional race car driver Rodger Rodas.  Straight tire marks mean they likely did not lose control, and steering fluid marks points to a car malfunction and inability to swerve out of the way... Whatever happened, it is a sad loss and hopefully it was instant and painless for both of them.

In celebration of Paul Walker, here is my favorite movie moment from him. RIP

-Tiggs

RIP Paul Walker

Sadly, we are here to report our first ever Eulogy from the Loft. So what started out as what we thought was a hoax, has been confirmed as an accidental death. Walker and friend Roger Rodas (Driver) were in a 2005 Porsche Carrera GT that clipped a telephone pole at unconfirmed high speeds. On his verified Twitter account, Walker described himself as "outdoorsman, ocean addict, adrenaline junkie ... and I do some acting on the side."

These are the stories we all hate to write, and I put it off because of the possibility at first that it was a hoax. It's is horribly sad to say goodbye to such a great guy....I mean tell me you weren't a Brian O'Connor fan and I'll show you a fucking douche-bag (You!!). A cop that goes dirty and truly lives the saying "Do it for the boys," embodies the saying completely...You can't beat a guy like that. We lost one of the good ones yesterday.Our thoughts and prayers are with everyone affected by this awful tragedy and all of the rest of the fast and the furious fans around the world. I don't think I have cried this hard since Jesse got shot by those dirty gooks in the first movie.

El Jefe

P.S.

Catching Fire

So just saw catching fire and it was fucking CRAY!!! I wrote a blog like 10 seconds ago about it and it got deleted so that was a boner kill. But I digress, They had everything, people dying left and right, things blowing up everywhere, Jenny Lawerence crying every 2 minutes it was nuts. Made the first movie look like absolute poop I definitely recommend it. LET THE REVOLUTION BEGIN!!! (I'm pretty sure that's a thing, I blacked out)

SWAG

-JP

Guts, Glory, and the Love of the Game.

Steven Stamkos broke his leg on Nov. 11. Steven Stamkos had a rod placed in that leg on Nov. 12. On Nov. 25, Steven Stamkos walked into a press conference with no crutches and no protective boot.

If that sounds ridiculous, there's proof.

Stamkos also said, best-case scenario, he'd be back in the lineup for a few Lightning games before the Olympics, which start on Feb. 6, then play for Team Canada. That would put his rehab at a little less than 10 weeks.

That's amazing. Two weeks ago, it seemed impossible.

It's also a little unnerving for two wholly separate reasons. One: As much of a workout animal as Stamkos may be (and he's already borderline legendary in that department), the human body can only take so much. Setbacks happen, and sometimes they happen after medical clearance. The league needs another 15-ish years of its purest goal-scorer.

So there you have it. Stamkos is the epitomy of guts, glory and the love of the game. The dude cleanly broke his tibia TWO WEEKS AGO! Today he walks into the media room right before a workout likes it no damn thing. These are the stories you love to write, it's too bad he is such a canuck, he'd make a great American, someone should bring that up with the next racial draft committee. He and Kaner on Team USA would make people cry.The guy is just an animal. An animal among little peasant bitches... Kind of reminds me of this....

I'd also like to point out that I blogged Krug right before he won it for the boys in OT last night...I see you Krug, I see you kid..

-EL Jefe

Daddy's home...calm down

So i've been gone a couple days now. Had to do some mogul shit in beantown, ended up killing it. I mean absolutely killin it..money like ya read about...Saw some black people light a christmas tree in Faneuil Hall...typical city slickaaaaa shit. Worked half day sunday, and then met up with T-russ. Next thing ya know we are on the train ordering our fifth makers mark and ginger ale..after a 5 hour bar crawl....sooo thats all that needs to be said about that....Peep the B's game if you aint watching.....2 goals in the first period that were.....dripping.....wet. Just unreal...Speaking of B's...that stud Torey Krug is on the shortlist for team USA...
http://nesn.com/2013/11/torey-krug-is-without-hesitation-in-mix-for-team-usa-spot-according-to-dan-bylsma/

#KRUGLIFE

-EL Jefe

P.S.- T-russ got cut off after I got off the train. No lie.

El Jefe and Benchkeeper MIA

MIA HAVE YOU SEEN THESE TWO! Haven't blogged since Nam' I believe it was

Ok so El Jefe's pic is with Chris Griffin so if by some stroke of god you can find the cast of Family Guy thank you and the pic of the Benchkeeper is just spot on. That was his prime..... Report back soon.

 -JP

HUGE WIN

I was so fucking amped for this game just couldn't keep my chub down all day it was insane. Then they come out like shit with 3 straight turnovers and just sucking so much butt. I really hope Ridley gets cut he is such a douche just leeching off of everyone else's success. I think this pic sums up the first half

Just Tom not being able to be the best ever getting fucked up and fucked over by his shitty running back (not Blount he got destroyed prolly a little dead right now) the fact that we made it out of the first half down just 24-0 was fine with me. I honestly didn't watch much of the 3rd cause I was so heated but it was great they dominated. Peyton just looking like a pussy.

At the end of the day it was a great game, had it all, gronk spikes, big plays and then just classic Brady vs manning (Tom is 10-5 vs manning... No big). Totally worth staying up late and getting no sleep

-JP (still torqued)

Best Movie Ending

And the award goes to Django Unchained. Best one liner from Jamie Foxx here.

You see, Sammy J thinks hes just so sly and shit, saying Jamie Foxx is outta bullets. He drops his cane to act all badass saying come at me, I actually CAN walk. But Jamie pulls the ultimate one liner. And then the look of despair. Maybe you shouldn't have been such an asshole the first time you met him.

 I dare you to try and think of a better movie ending/one liner. Bravo, Tarantino. Bravo.

-Viddle

Lets Talk Potter For A Minute

Its really quite simple. Harry Potter is the best movie franchise of all time. The action, love, fantasy, humor, and storytelling are unparalleled. Lord of the Rings? 3 movies of walking. Star Wars? Those dumbasses thought itd be a brilliant idea to build the second death star the same exact way as the first. Pirates of the Carribean? One hit wonder. Harry Potter has stood the test of time however. The franchise also boasts one of the best ensemble casts of all time, with the cherry on top being the Oscar worthy performances from Alan Rickman. In about 30 seconds he made me forget how douchey he was in the first 7 movies and became one of the most badass characters. 

Also digging the love triangle Harry Ron and Hermione find themselves in. I think it was a win win for everyone though that Harry ended up with Ginny. (Should have got a hotter person for Ginny but I digress -JP)

 

Even if the producers put out another hundred movies just to make shitloads of cash, you'll find my ass there on opening night to enjoy the best movie franchise ever created. Let me take it from here Viddle... Not only is this the greatest movie franchise of all time it is the greatest book series ever created. I don't just get torqued for clips like these...

The book itself is a boner in word form. Senior year our class "theme" was under the sea, I dressed like Harry Potter. I live and breathe Potter and there is no shame. Viddle and I giggle like little school girls at anything Harry Potter, just can not get enough. Like Skits said I literally can not wait till they re-make the movies, may go all PeeWee Herman and get caught jerking it in the theater.. ok aggressive, but seriously Potter is the tits.

P.S. Hermione for the win.

 

P.P.S. Seriously if you don't like Harry Potter you are doughy soft and should just grow the fuck up

 

-Viddle and JP

 

French Onion Dip

The title explains it enough.  I don't know why I just thought about it, but I could really go for some right now.  Just some Ruffles and French onion dip and the bag will be gone in a matter of minutes.  No better combination for chips and dip.  Thanksgiving is coming up in a few days and I will be stuffing my face with my grandmother's home-made french onion dip.  I literally stand at the appetizer table and eat all of the dip with no shame. YOLO right? There must be nicotine or crack or something in french onion dip 'cause once you start you can't stop until it's either all gone or someone steals it from you.

-Tiggs

Lil Wayne

So JP wrote a blog earlier that was fire about some of the best rappers out there. Lately I've been listening to all of Lil Wayne's old shit, and man does this guy need a time machine.

Just straight leanin, smokin mad weed and interpretive dancing to his own songs, not giving a fuck, drinkin that syrup out of his cup, tellin 15 year olds they should have been having sex for years already. Thats the Lil Wayne we all know and love. It's sad how much Rikers changed this man. Fuck the police no justice no peace.

-Viddle

GTN

Barstool does a section called guess that ass and guess that rack so new little section I'm gonna try and do... Prolly not but it's Guess That Nipple! So here's the first one 

Any ideas? No, ok well it's the nipple of this handsome devil

Just kidding, it's actually this guy

If you guess El Jefe you'd be right that is his nipple, don't ask me why I have a picture of his nipple but I do so YOLO 

-JP

"Evil Twin" is the Rapist

(CNN) - It's a mind-boggling surprise in whodunit mysteries and soap operas, but a soldier in Colorado is using the dramatic ploy for real in a criminal courtroom: his "evil twin" may be responsible for the sex crimes against girls that he's now accused of.

The soldier's defense rests partly on the fact he and his identical twin brother have virtually the same DNA, an attempt to undercut authorities' allegations that the DNA from the crime scenes belongs to the soldier.

The defendant, Aaron Gregory Lucas, 32, is also a suspect in sex crimes in two other states, authorities say. In addition to raising his twin brother as a suspect, Lucas also claims that a third man may be the culprit in some of the crimes, court papers say.

A Colorado judge in El Paso County ruled last week that Lucas will be allowed to name his twin brother, Brian Lucas, as a suspect in his defense. The judge also allowed the defense attorneys to use the name of a third man as a suspect, too.

So this fucking hardo tries to tell people that his evil fucking twin is sexually assaulting all of these chicks. I imagine they're in court pretty much ready to throw this guy away and he's like "uhhhh it's actually my evil twin Brian"... First off bud "Brian" is a pussy name he prolly licks dudes assholes just for fun. Brian is the name of a guy who works at Starbucks and calls himself a Barista, no faggot you make coffee. Brian couldn't possibly be a sexual deviant that's all you Aaron you sick fuck.

-JP

Shaun T From Insanity is Gay.... So Confused

So I just google Shaun T after working out cause I was curious as to how big he actually is. He makes most of the other guys look small and then on Wikipedia I found this little gem...

That is seriously mind blowing like I thought he banged every single chick in that place. I mean he's free to bang who he wants but damn.

Never look at him the same again. I mean my cousin is gay and I love him he's the man! So I'm not homophobic it just confused me. YOLO... I guess? 

-JP

I should automatically get an A in statistics

So I'm taking statistics this semester, and it was pretty easy at first.  Pretty much your average high school stat class up until the first exam.  After that, shit hit the fan and the teacher went from acting like it was elementary school to flying through the material that was actually hard, granted it is a college class and I'm a senior.  But here's the real bullshit... my professor doesn't even know how to use a TI-84 calculator.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, then you had a horrible middle school career.  If you weren't playing Phoenix and Uncle Worm then you got stuffed into lockers and pushed into dog shit. And if you couldn't beat Block Dude then you pretty much weren't allowed to pass into highschool. And somehow these games ended up getting JP a few detentions in his career, which I can vouch that were bullshit, and he's an asshole... no offense, but you just wouldn't be you as a nice person, and I love it.  But anyways, we spend numerous stat classes laughing and instructing our professor on how to use the calculator because he tries to gives us demonstrations and just starts mashing random buttons hoping it'll work.  Here's my question: How valid is a teacher's math class if he doesn't even know how to use a calculator that's been around for a solid 17 years. And that's a fact I looked it up, and its the benefit of the doubt. The TI-83 came out in 1996 and that's not even the oldest version. If you don't know how to show a class to find the standard deviation of a population, your tests are invalid and I want an A.

-Tiggs

Well Played Samsung, Well Played....

http://thebladebrownshow.wordpress.com/2013/11/13/lawsuit-paid-in-full-samsung-pays-apple-1-billion-sending-30-trucks-full-of-5-cent-coins/

Samsung got sued by Apple for 1 Billion Dollars... Samsung sent 30 trucks filled with nickels to Apple's headquarters...Talk about a power move to top all power moves... I'm thoroughly impressed and might even grab a Galaxy because of this.. I support any company that will be that big of a dick openly...Plain and Simple..

-El Jefe